My child stutters: when should you seek help?

Stuttering in children often begins between the ages of two and five

Stuttering usually begins in the years when language is developing fastest. For about four in five children who stutter, it passes again by itself. But nobody can tell by looking at a child whether they are one of them. That's why "wait and see" isn't good advice.

It isn't your fault. Stuttering isn't caused by upbringing, and it doesn't come from anything you've done wrong at home. You can read more about the causes in the article on why people stutter.

When a child suddenly starts stuttering

In young children, stuttering can appear from one day to the next, and it can fluctuate a lot. Some weeks it's almost gone, and then it's back again. That's common. Talk to a speech and language therapist about it, even if things are going through a good patch right now.

If an older child suddenly starts stuttering after an illness or a blow to the head, or if there are other things that worry you, talk to your doctor.

My child stutters: when should we seek help?

Ask to see a speech and language therapist if even one of these applies:

• The stuttering continues and isn't just a brief phase.
• It bothers your child: they get frustrated, give up on saying things or start avoiding words.
• You're worried. That's reason enough in itself.

A speech and language therapist for children: how to find one

Contact your GP, your health visitor or your child's nursery or school, and ask for a referral to a speech and language therapist. How it works differs from country to country, so ask what applies where you live.

The speech and language therapist assesses your child's speech and advises you as parents. For young children, the help is often mostly about what you adults do day to day.

What you can do at home

• Give it time. Let your child finish speaking, even when it takes a long while.
• Don't finish the sentences, and don't guess the word.
• Don't say "slow down" or "take a breath". It's kindly meant, but what the child hears is that they're speaking wrongly.
• Listen to what your child is telling you, and respond to the content.
• Slow your own pace. Speak calmly and leave small pauses, so there isn't a fight to get a word in at the table.
• Talk openly about it if your child brings it up. "Some words are hard to get out. I've got plenty of time" is enough.

Children notice if stuttering is something the adults don't want to talk about. When you can mention it calmly, it becomes less frightening.

Children who stutter when they start school

Older children become aware of their speech. Reading aloud, presentations and putting a hand up can become things they dread. Some are teased. Others go quiet and stop answering, even though they know the answer.

Talk to the teachers so that they know, and agree together with your child how it should be handled in class. A speech and language therapist can still help. A national stuttering association in your country, such as STAMMA in the UK, is a good place to find knowledge for parents and to meet other families.

When your teenager stutters

In the teenage years, many become good at hiding it. You may hear less stuttering than before, and it can look like progress. But it can also mean that your teenager has started to steer round everything that's hard.

Notice whether your teenager:

• gives short answers or says "I don't know" to get out of it
• avoids phoning and gets you to book appointments and order food
• calls in sick when there's a presentation
• chooses subjects, a part-time job or a course of study according to how little talking is involved

The hardest thing as a parent is that you can't do the work for them. You can ask, listen and tell them that help exists. You can't decide that they should want it.

How to have the conversation

Pick a calm moment, ideally while you're doing something else together. Ask what it's like, and hold back from offering solutions straight away. Say what you've noticed, without turning it into a problem that needs fixing. If you get turned away, leave it and try again another day.

The McGuire Programme for teenagers aged 14 and over

The McGuire Programme is for anyone aged 14 or over who stutters. So the course is not for young children. It can be relevant for a teenager who wants to work on their speech themselves. All the instructors stutter themselves and have taken the course, so your teenager meets adults who have stood in the same place.

The course lasts four days, from Thursday 08:00 to Sunday 14:00, and the days can be up to 16 hours long. Participants learn costal breathing and techniques such as Hit and Hold, Block release and deliberate dysfluency. They use them on the phone, in the street and in a public speech in the city. You can read about what a stuttering course is like.

We want to be honest: it's hard, and your teenager's own motivation matters a great deal. The course doesn't remove the stutter. The goal is eloquence, which means being able to say what you want, when you want. It takes daily practice afterwards, and no parent can do that for their child. If you're the one who wants it and your teenager isn't ready, it's better to wait.

After the course there is lifelong support and a network of other people who stutter. The price is DKK 18,000 as a one-off payment. You can see the upcoming courses in Aarhus, Malmö and Oslo. If you'd like to know more about stuttering that continues after childhood, read our guide to stuttering in adults.

Frequently asked questions